A Few Activities

Few of Many:

Drinking games, anything related to drinking, faking headaches, coming up with elaborate excuses for dumbass professors, pretending I’m mute, scaring homeless people, throwing my trash on homeless people in my dumpster, putting Tabasco sauce on everything, sleeping till the weekend, sleeping through the weekend, half price sushi on Sunday, meeting people while being drunk, laughing at my Saddam look-alike math teacher, failing calc 2 twice, asking random people to buy me beer, wearing the same thing over and over, rewatching old The Office seasons for no damned reason, selling anything on eBay, eating sugarcane, taking online surveys, cheating on all schoolwork, playing with fire, getting drunk and spraying the fire extinguisher, arguing, arguing drunk, never smiling in pictures, praying for bomb threats in my building, videotaping a little old Asian woman, making lemonade, getting four absences when all you can have is three, demonically staring down my teachers, trying to forget high school or anything in my past, making myself throw up so I can drink more, trying to cheat even when I know the answer, playing calculator games, minesweeper, scrabble, dreaming fucked up dreams then waking up and thinking I’m crazy, drinking whiskey and anything mixed, quitting smoking everyday, sleeping naked, not washing anything, playing with the ice in my freezer, smelling everything, making someone feel like shit then I feel like shit, staring at weirdo’s wondering why they are so weird, plagiarizing, making fun of Helen Keller, coming up with sadistic jokes that I’m afraid to tell, getting drunk and trying to type, going to class drunk, stealing drinks from Taco Bell, taking adderall before bedtime, etc.

Blount County Tennessee

It has recently come to my attention, via the channel ten local news in Knoxville, that groups of people from Blount County are in the process of raising one million dollars for a center for homeless pets: an institution providing housing and health needs for less fortunate animals. I don’t know whether it is due to outright ignorance or pure immorality or a combination of both, but it definitely seems this is an intentional waste of money and time. During a time of war and widows, a time of rising depression, a world of cancer and disease and natural disasters, a nation of unspeakable acts of crime, financially deprived high school dropouts, continual racial issues, genocide, during an earth filled with third world countries and overwhelming divorce rates, during a time in our land where hate is greater than love, where one million fucking dollars can feed one million starving people, I find it extremely hard to believe that this county has nothing better to do with its money than give it to stray animals! President of Blount County Animal Rescue Effort Teresa Cutshaw says the thought of homeless animals keeps her up at night (West). "You wake up in the morning and you think about it and it's the last thing you think about at night is how many animals are out there starving to death, freezing to death, suffering because there's no place for them to go," Cutshaw said. In hearing this statement on TV, I almost threw up. This stupid woman sickens me; she is the reason for the lack of love in our country. My response to her extreme, somewhat insane statements is I also cannot sleep at night. My lack of sleep is not due to the insignificant animals, but due to the homeless human beings rummaging through my garbage like raccoons. I cannot sleep because our brothers and sisters are on the streets every night looking for food and cans in dumpsters so they can get money, while this woman is worrying about damned animals, which can instinctively exist in the wild! It would be more respectable to gather these “homeless” animals, slaughter them, cook them, create a homeless shelter, and feed the real homeless. Think unselfishly about a meaningful use of the money, such to provide for a real tragedy, not just a personal desire. I walk to class everyday and pass by hungry and freezing homeless PEOPLE who need help from others. This one million dollar animal center should offend every human if they have a truly loving heart.

-David Olin

(http://www.wbir.com/news/local/story.aspx?storyid=50369 written by Josh West)

Sorority House or Brothel

Wikipedia defines brothel as:

“…an establishment specifically dedicated to prostitution, providing the prostitutes a place to meet and to have sex with the clients.”

I recently heard that the University of Tennessee is allowing the sororities to build houses and live in them, like fraternities. I’ll hold while you take that all in. The school is allowing SORORITY GIRLS to own and operate houses! Wow. Fifty plus rich daddy’s girls all on the same menstruation cycle while throwing parties is UT crying to make even a worse name for the school. These are the girls whose lifetime idols tend to be the Hanson Brothers and Madonna and who only look good with their ankles beside their head. Anyway, I thought there were “Brothel Laws” in Tennessee; no more than five girls can live in a house without it being called a brothel. The thing that is even worse about this news is your not going to get any of this poon. It all goes out to rich fratastic momma’s boys, because they will be the ones to inherit their daddy’s doe. A brothel provides the place for a whore to meet and have sex with their acquaintance; does not a sorority house fall under this definition Wikipedia has infallibly produced? Now instead of sneaking a drunk-ass frat guy into a dorm or struggling to walk home in the fort, these formally dressed girls will just invite the fraternity to their “house”, get them drunk, spread their own legs wide open like Pamela did for Tommy (we all saw the video), then wake up and go get the morning after pill. With this happening every weekend at the house/brothel, it is relevant for the university to create a rule stating that the girls can only live there during the weekdays, when the least whorority action will be going on. That rule will only make for the sorostitutes to have two homes, forcing the school to prohibit the building of sorority houses. But, the sorority could put their brains to work and say, “Prostitutes get paid to have sex. We, like, would never stoop to that level.” Instead they just do it for free after a night of intense drinking and a lifetime of exterior insecurities with a guy who knows the only sex with this broad will come before marriage.

When’s the next bomb threat?

I know, it has only been a few months since Cho flipped his shit at Virginia Tech, and I know, what he did is no laughing matter what so ever, but what does it hurt to simply post a simple bomb threat to add a day of uncontrolled alcoholism to the weekend? When you wake up on Monday and you get a text or e-mail from the school that says no class today due to bomb threat, what will you think? Will you worry? No, because you know that it was just a mere threat. There is no bomb at all, just some angry alcoholism major wanting to miss class because he started drinking Thursday and woke up Sunday forgetting he had a test on Monday, due to the fact that his Middle-Eastern math teacher thinks its funny to schedule a test on Monday to show the spoiled American kids that he is a true Bin Laden dick. What would it hurt to give the KPD and UTPD something else to do other than bust students for harmless drinking and write endless parking tickets? They need something real to do like search a building for a bomb, that’s real law enforcement right there. It’s a win/win. We all want a day off from walking up the hill in 100 degree heat or fighting with your English teacher because she is a fat feministic bitch. So to whoever is the biggest dumbass out there, I’m not saying go declare a false bomb threat, I’m just saying that it would make for another great day of Knoxville’s finest partying!